somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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