but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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