Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
