Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
