I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
