The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Randomize