so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize