Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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