My first STD was from a foam party
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
