dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
