Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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