Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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