She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
