youre lurking in front of me
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i dont even know how to be here
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
