I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
