I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
