We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
