i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize