Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
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