You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
