yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize