he puts the penis in happiness.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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