think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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