I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The feeling are messing with the penis
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
