She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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