after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just had sex on a roof
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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