seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
