Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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