and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
