p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
