Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I am puke
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize