I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
