Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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