Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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