I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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