Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
