The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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