Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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