i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Randomize
