Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
