u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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