i wish there were pregnant emoticons
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
