Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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