In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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