Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
