This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
