I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
