When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
