her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
