Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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