She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
