So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
