no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
