i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
