Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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