was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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