your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
