i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
