just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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