that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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